(Leer en español) This year I will be doing one of the most important trips in my life – I will tell you later about that – so different than in 2016, this morning I woke up on my bed in Lima but just like last year, I will share you what I have learned in the past 12 months. It was a time to reconfirm what I already knew, but also to understand new things.
Don’t sell yourself for little.
Truth is, whether you like it or not, you have some talents. I get all embarrassed when someone says: oh, Ana speaks 3 languages, she has a blog, does this and does that. Part of growing up is admitting you can do something, that is it your thing, you have worked for it, you have tame it, you can always improve and learn, but you are good at it.
“Writing for sure is your thing” – this is someone a senior copywriter told me two weeks after starting doing interview for my blog. I just recently interview the founder of Girls love Travel, and I never thought I would do this many things when I started the blog.
People may think that you can not but it does not mean that you have to be dazed, paraphrasing 1 Timothy 4:12 that no one should despise your youth, or your adulthood.
End everything in good terms.
A love relationship, a friendship, a working thing, I understood that the one who signs the peace treaty is the more mature. You don’t always have to win but is a must to leave things in good terms. For someone as emotional as me, nothing is more exciting that leaving the place with a dramatic exit but also nothing is more satisfying than knowing I can comeback and retake things in a nice way.
Two years ago I talked about the “closures” and how they not always come when you want them, sometimes they take a while. Whether you got your closure or not, take the steps to put everything in good terms, don’t hold things back, do leave insulting.
It sounds quite love&peace, but it is what it is, if you quit, say goodbye nicely to your supervisors, if you dump someone, don’t do it by throwing plates and stuff. Be the grownup in the relationship, you don’t know if there we will another chance – or necessity – to go back.
It is not me, is him!
“It’s not you, it’s me”, that typical phrase we use to get off a relationship because we don’t want to hurt the other person, we don’t want to explain ourselves, many reasons, but you know what have I learned? Sometimes it is really not me. When I was younger I thought the problem was me – trust me, I had reasons to believe so – but while growing up I have learned that the reason why it did not work was shared.
Last year I met an awesome guy – potential Mr. Random – we were about to go serious when things turned complicated and I felt pressured, one day we were talking about marriage and kids and the next day we were arguing because I spent too much travelling or with my family. It was not going to work, I told him, and it was not a nice thing.
It is possible that you will grow up and your partner won’t. That he will still see you as when you were a kid and he didn’t realise you grew up, that as a couple you didn’t move forward in your lives but you did on your own. You need to have the ovaries to understand that the problem is NOT YOU, it is him, who refuses to see your grow, to fulfil your ambitions, to follow your dreams.
Have a combat plan
And have a combat team too. You can bee that person with an island complex – part of the time I am one too – but for you to have a nice combat plan, you need people to work with you.
Maybe your combat plan needs you to quit your job, or end your relationship or certain friendship, to stop eating carbs, whatever the plan’s target is, it has to be your decision, based on your own experiences and what you have learned.
My team is clear, I have a nice family (mom-dad-youngerbro) that for any crazy idea I have had – including this blog – they have joined me in my boat and helped me row. I have a close circle of friends with whom I have created interdependence with the goal of supporting each other in our combat plans.
I am not sad I am turning one year older – I am actually excited – and I am already okay with being called: ma’am in the store. What I am the most afraid of is reaching a certain age when I no longer have something new to learn. I love learning new and different things and the biggest classroom that is the world, I hope to be learning well the lessons to keep moving forward in this career we call life.